as a matter of fact, i do speak for america

You encounter some odd conversations when you have the “web aware” thing turned on in ICQ. When non-USA people (of course) ask dopey questions, I give dopey answers that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Some Russian dude messaged me. Observe.

Note: This is an untouched transcript, save for some formatting so it’s easier to read.

Date and Time: 04/03/2006 05:42 AM
You have received a message from Alex
Hi! How are you? Can you tell me what are your associations with the words liberty and freedom?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:46 AM
You have received a message from Alex
Hallo! Can I ask you what are your associations concerning the words liberty and freedom?

Yep. He had to ask twice. Once wasn’t good enough.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:46 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
chevy camaro

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:47 AM
You have received a message from Alex
What? Do you speak English?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:47 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
buick regal

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:47 AM
You have received a message from Alex
Sinonyms of freedom?

As everyone knows, nothing says “liberty” and “freedom” more than a Buick Regal, especially if it has air conditioning and power windows.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:47 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
ford pinto

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:48 AM
You have received a message from Alex
So you see cars and they mean freedom and liberty?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:48 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
datsun 280z

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:49 AM
You have received a message from Alex
Hey what are you talking about?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:49 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
oldsmobile cutlass

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM
You have received a message from Alex
Come on ! Tell a couple of simple words not the names of cars.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
dodge caravan

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM
You have received a message from Alex
Are you gonna call 1000 of them?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
jaguar xj-5

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM
You have received a message from Alex
:-D

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:50 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
isuzu pup

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:51 AM
You have received a message from Alex
:-D:-D

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:51 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
jeep grand cherokee

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:51 AM
You have received a message from Alex
:-D:-D:-D

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:51 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
alpha romeo milano

He then stopped, but started in again.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:57 AM
You have received a message from Alex
Can you tell me where you live?

Uh, yeah. Sure, pal. Right.

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:57 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
cadillac eldorado

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:58 AM
You have received a message from Alex
Are you trying to get on people's nerves?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:58 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
chrysler concorde

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:58 AM
You have received a message from Alex
Can you do it in alphabetic order?

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:59 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
eagle talon

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:59 AM
You have received a message from Alex
GAZ

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:59 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
volkswagen beetle

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 06:59 AM
You have received a message from Alex
VAZ LADA

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 07:00 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
volvo XC90

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 07:00 AM
You have received a message from Alex
KAMAZ

Date and Time: 04/05/2006 07:00 AM
You have sent a message to Alex
lincoln continental

He then stopped.. finally. Good thing, too, I was running out of cars to name.

Yep, I’m an asshole.

And a damned proud American. I think I’ll go out and buy me a Buick Regal.

I’m actually happy this happened because it at least got my mind off of more immediate concerns for the short term.

Copyright ©1975-2006 menga - Today is Saturday, March 13 2010; the time when you loaded this web page was 6:58pm UTC. This blog is authored from Tampa Florida - a place where all the cool people are :-) If this web site has not been updated in the past 30 days, you can safely assume I'm sick, dead or finally got a life interesting enough to get away from the computer. On a final note, remember to save your shit.