I am a heterosexual male.

I was born in 1975 back when bell bottom pants and mood rings were all the rage.

I moved to Tampa Florida in 2006. And yes, Florida is as good as you’ve heard.

I live alone (The only reason I mention this is because there’s a strange belief that guys who blog live with their parents in a basement. I have my own apartment, thank you very much.)

I play guitar.

I play synthesizers.

I like taking photos.

I am left-handed, write left-handed, kick left-footed, bat right-handed, play guitar right-handed and use a computer mouse right-handed.

I am an Aries.

I prefer my eggs sunny side up.

I like almost anything that lights up.

I think camping sucks.

I first went online to the internet in 1996. Been there ever since.

My first e-mail address was rjmi@snet.net (and no I don’t have that address anymore).

I love a good soup. It’s one of my favorite foods.

I owned a 1986 Camaro once – the ultimate “mullet” car. But I didn’t wear a mullet when I had it. Oh, well.

I have a better-than-average knowledge of the way the interstate system works in the USA.

I get bored very easily.

I will not wear brightly colored clothing, such as anything bright orange, green or whathaveyou.

I like showers where the water spray is “needle” or rotating “massage” where it hits you so hard that it hurts, i.e. high water pressure. Anything less and I don’t feel as clean when I’m done.

I never liked rain until I moved to Florida. Here the rain is almost always warm and like bath water. I like that.

I prefer to use paper towels over napkins when eating. They seem to work better.

I do not keep the cases to any of the DVDs I buy. All of them go in folder-type thing. If I fill that up, I get another one.

My two favorite times of the day to drive anywhere is dawn and dusk, with dusk being more preferable.

The time of the day when I least like to drive: High noon.

Shoe that always goes on first: Left foot.

I never replace shoelaces. In fact, I don’t think anyone does anymore.

I was blogging before it was “cool”, during the time it was “cool” and after it was “cool” – and still do.

I hate sarcasm in all forms. It’s not funny.

I hate practical jokes in all forms. That’s not funny either.

I do believe in love.

I have never owned an iPod.

I am a self-taught typer.

My fastest typing speed is about 80wpm. I average 50 to 60.. ish.

Given the choice between a girl with big tits or a tight ass, I’d take the girl with the tight ass any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

I burn a green candle in my dwelling at all times.

Sometimes when I think of events that have happened in my past – good, bad or indifferent – it seems like they only occurred in a dream and never happened even though I know they did.

I know enough about computers to be able to visit web sites and blogs where the site/blog author would never know I visited unless they knew how to read a server log.

If you asked me to remember anything that happened on the internet last month, I couldn’t tell you because I forgot already. And you know what? You can’t remember anything that happened on the internet last month either.

I don’t like to wear boots. They’re not comfortable.

The smell of diesel exhaust makes me sick to my stomach.

I always appreciate a really good smooth vanilla ice cream.

I’ve been blogging since 2004.

Those who author their own blogs – and do it well – impress me.

I hate bars.

I do not drink.

I do not do any illegal drugs of any kind.

Under most circumstances I don’t like restaurants. You wait at least 45 minutes just to eat and the food usually isn’t good. In addition you never really know (PDF) whether your food has been tampered with or not. (You could be the nicest customer in the world, tip properly and still get screwed. What’s the point of even going?)

I believe all mommybloggers are certifiably insane. The reason? They honestly believe that their children will think it’s completely okay to have their lives broadcasted on the internet and that they’ll just “get over it.” No, they won’t.

I absolutely hate politics.

I find anyone who says “get a life” amusing because the ones who say it has a life far worse than yours.

If I see any comment that has “LOL” on another web site and that site has the ability to “vote” the comment down, I will do it because I hate LOL that much.

Generally speaking, I’m an optimistic person. On the internet sometimes things I write can get misunderstood as angry/bitter/whatever but I try to be a nice person whenever I can.

People are always SHOCKED at the amount of movies I have not seen. And of course these same people always make me feel like absolute shit when they STARE at me in disbelief as if I’m a man from Mars. And if you dare say “WHAT?! YOU HAVEN’T SEEN [insert stupid movie here]?!”, consider yourself ex-friend at that point.

My first kiss was so awesome you could write a movie about it.

The first time I had sex wasn’t nearly as good as the kiss was.

I hate cell phones.

I hate text messaging.

I find girls who don’t wear underwear disgusting.

The celebrity I look most similar to is Ringo Starr. We also share the same first name.

I am allergic to Penicillin.

I have always loathed loud places. And the truth of the matter is that most other people do too.

Sometimes I wonder why anyone would ever wear a t-shirt that says Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck.

I have seriously thought about suicide once and only once. And that was a very long time ago.

I sincerely believe that time moves 3x faster on the internet. This is because people forget things 3x as fast online compared to real life – yours truly included.

The first car I ever owned was a 1984 Honda Civic.

My second car was a 1985 Toyota Celica GT-S.

My third car was a Plymouth Sundance that I hated so much that I don’t even remember what year it was made.

My fourth car was a 1994 Chevrolet S-10 Blazer Sport Edition.

My fifth car was a 1986 Chevrolet Camaro.

My sixth car was a 2000 Oldsmobile Alero.

My seventh car was a 1987 Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck.

My eighth vehicle is a 2005 GMC Canyon SLE.

I can’t stand the word pensive. It was used to describe me once from some chick I was trying to get a date with as a piss-poor attempt to sound smart; she obviously failed at that.

I also can’t stand the word surly because my mother used it for a short time to describe me when I angered her. This is one of those uppity snooty-type words nobody gives a shit about, hence the reason I can’t stand it.

If you say either of the two words above in my direction, I know you’re saying it just to anger me, so don’t bother. And if you say, “I knew these words before I read them on your page!”, you’re lying. If you reply to that with, “No I’m not!”, yes, you are Mr. or Ms. Snooty-Pants.

I deem those who cannot spell common words correctly to be genuinely stupid people.

It really irks me when people just 5 years older than I think they have so much more life experience than I do and think they’re so smart, when in reality I’m smarter than they are.

I did own a Macintosh computer once, and promptly returned it for a refund because it sucked.

I am not a good multitasker. This is not to say I can’t get things done, but they must be done one at a time, preferably in some type of order that makes sense.

I am an internet junkie.

For those that aren’t internet junkies, I really don’t have much in common with them.

The vast majority of the girls I’ve dated over the years have been through meeting them online.

I am the type that tends to intimidate people at first, but then once they hang around me for a bit they really like me because I have a good personality. The only exception is if the person drinks or does drugs, because I don’t do either of those tihngs.

I am a GPS fanboy. Garmin, specifically.

I can count the number of times I’ve been drunk on one hand and still have fingers left to count.

I have watched every episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation at least five times.

I have watched the original trilogy of Star Wars way, way, way more than that.

I do not pee in the shower.

I can’t stand small towns. This is due to the reason I grew up in one.

The older I get, the more that I don’t care how many people know that I’m a total nerd.

I drove around and explored more of Tampa Bay Florida in my first year than most people who have lived here for over a decade.

I am a convenience store junkie. Being there are so many of them I like to go to as many as I can. Sometimes you find really good ones you’ll go back to again and again.

It irks me how most Florida natives don’t realize how good they have it living in the Sunshine State.

I do not watch television at all unless I’m at someone else’s place. I don’t even have a cable subscription.

I have never been married.

I do consider Florida very much my home and intend to spend the rest of my days here. I don’t want to be anywhere else.

I lurk on the internet. A lot.

I am by nature a dirt cheap computer user due to the fact that anything computery thing you buy will be obsolete the moment you buy it.

I am single. So if you’re a girl that’s younger than me and cute, you should email me.