One of the ugliest guitars I have ever seen
I've seen some ugly guitars in my time... but this one... wow.
Yes, this guitar is really for sale at the time I write this. [Edit: No longer for sale, but enjoy the pictures below.]
There are more photos of this beast below, but before getting to that, I'll describe what this thing is.
It's a Telecaster copy that has what looks to be a body made 100% from acrylic. The front half is mostly clear, except for the horn on top which appears to be have been hand-shaped to a dragon with the first of two chicks seen.
The first chick is sitting on the dragon's back and holding a sword, so that's cool. However, she has webbed hands, and that's not cool.
The second chick is behind the bridge, and the ocean below her appears to have eaten her leg. How sad.
The rear part of the guitar has been shaped to resemble dragon scales. However, I cannot tell if those scales are painted or if each scaled has been shaped by the "artist".
On the back of the guitar, is there a third chick? No. It's actually the second chick where you can see the paint through the clear acrylic body. From this view we can see the guitar appears to have been wired properly, and the neck is a bolt-on, typical to Telecasters.
Lastly, this guitar supposedly lights up, although I can't be certain. The title of the instrument claims it's an LED. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't... who knows?
Someone needs to buy this guitar just for the goof of it... but that someone won't be me.
Enjoy:
Chender Yngwie Malmsteen Stratocaster
This is absolutely the cheapest way to get a scalloped fretboard Strat.
For those of you that have always wanted to try out a scalloped fretboard Stratocaster but didn't have the cash to do it, trust me, you can afford this one. If you can't afford an actual Fender Malmsteen Strat guitar, believe me, it is very easy to find very cheap alternatives.
Is it a China copy Stratocaster? Of course it is.
Will the guitar need some work once you get it? Probably. But even if it does need work, remember, you're getting the scalloped fretboard.
Put in really basic terms, the neck alone is worth the price you pay here.
Should Squier be offering a scalloped fretboard Strat?
I wish they would.
It's painfully obvious that you can buy an Asian built guitar with scalloped fretboard for very cheap. Most if not all Squier guitars are Asian builds.
I'm not even asking Squier to make a Malmsteen model. What I am saying is that they should offer something with a scalloped fretboard on it. Fender has a lot of freedom of design where the Squier brand is concerned, so if they wanted to, they could totally put together a Strat with an HSH pickup configuration and a scalloped fretboard. Alas, there isn't one.
Until Squier starts offering a model of Strat with a scalloped fretboard, people will keep buying the China copies, and often.
When you're sick of Strats, St. Vincent answers the call
If you wanted a guitar that's different, well, here it is.
There are two versions of this axe known as the St. Vincent. The Music Man version is over $2,000. The Sterling version is much more reasonably priced, and that's the one I'm talking about here.
Quick specs: Mahogany body, rosewood fingerboard, 25.5" scale, 9.5" radius, 22 frets, HHH pickup layout.
For anyone that says that they're sick and tired of nothing but Strat and Les Paul shapes, the St. Vincent is your answer if you want something different.
Although the St. Vincent obviously has a unique look, this is a guitar for Strat players that want a different shape, as you will find things here inspired by the Stratocaster guitar.
The tremolo system will be very familiar. Strings go through the body and out the back, and there is a removable plate on the rear with a cutout, just like a Strat.
You've got 5-way switching here, also just like a Strat - with the exception this is 2-knob instead of 3-knob. And that's fine since most players, myself included, prefer 1 knob for volume and 1 for tone because it's easier to deal with.
There is a contour cut on the back of the body, again just like a Strat but with the difference the cut is longer and larger due to the body shape.
The neck can best be described as Strat-ish, with the huge advantage that there is a truss rod adjustment wheel at the butt of the neck (something ordinarily only seen on high-priced Stratocaster models).
There is no single-coil hum on the St. Vincent since all three pickups are mini-humbuckers.
As for how this guitar sounds, the mini-humbuckers have good treble response and have that "sounds like humbucker" tone to them. This is basically what a Strat would sound like if it had 3 humbuckers in it. It's not the same "quack" as a Strat is, but if you can imagine a Stratocaster and Les Paul tones in the same guitar at the same time, that's more or less what the St. Vincent is. Yes, the guitar has a unique - and very usable - tonal character.
The best part about this guitar is that while it looks radically different, you do not have to learn the guitar all over again just to play it. It has good, thoughtful design.
Said another way, St. Vincent is different without being difficult, and it looks cool. I like it.
Guitar playing standing vs. sitting
I said in a YouTube comment reply recently that I always have to put my strap through the belt because it's the only way I can position a neck correctly....
...and this is why I don't have any problems with neck heavy guitars. More on that in a moment.
The standard advice given is that you should have your guitar in the same position standing as when you do seated.
I started playing guitar at 15 years old. Over the years, I have tried many different guitar shapes. Strat, Les Paul, SG, Jazzmaster, Jaguar, and so on. And I have never, repeat, never been able to get my guitar in the same position when standing as when I do playing seated. It's simply not possible.
No matter what I did, the neck was never positioned right. It does not matter what guitar shape or strap is used. I simply cannot get that neck in the same place standing as when seated.
This is not to say I cannot play standing. I can, but the guitar has to be lightweight and the neck must be shifted upward so I'm not straining my fret hand.
Where lightening the weight is concerned, the solution there is either a thin solidbody or a semi-hollow. At the time I write this, I own both types. The Ibanez GAX30 is a lightweight solidbody, and the Squier Thinline Telecaster a lightweight semi-hollow.
However, there is still the neck positioning issue. For that, my solution costs nothing. Put strap through the belt so the rear of the guitar stays down, thereby shifting the neck upward so it stays there. Problem solved.
Because I wear a strap the way I do, any guitar that is typically neck heavy is a nonissue for me. I can play guitars known to have neck dive standing such as the SG.
I did come to a realization however.
It is pointless trying to replicate the exact same seated guitar position when standing
Even for the Stratocaster - a guitar without any real neck dive issues to speak of - I still can't get the same neck position standing as I do when playing seated.
I realized that the two playing positions will always be different no matter what. I also realized that what I needed to do is to establish a standing position with the goal of comfort rather than "must be exactly the same position as seated".
Whenever I tried to replicate the seated position standing, the same thing always happened. I'd have to position my guitar ridiculously high on the body. Yes, the seated position was mostly (but never totally) there, but there would be strain on the shoulder no matter how light the guitar was.
When I found out that shifting the neck upward is what made my fret hand happy, that's what I went with...
...but now I had the issue of my picking hand not feeling quite right. I wasn't in any pain. My picking hand simply wasn't used to the position.
My solution? Just get used to it. Since there was no pain, I went through an adjustment period where when I play standing, my picking hand is in a different spot than I'm used to when seated, so just keep practicing and keep playing until the picking hand feels comfortable in its different position.
I did get used to it.
The only weirdness I have now is that there are some things I can only play seated and others I can only play standing. It's almost like I'm two different guitar players.
The GAX30 is definitely the most comfortable guitar I've ever played standing
So far I'm liking the GAX30 a lot, especially considering it is not a bother to play it standing while with a Telecaster it is, at least for my body type and arm length.
And who knows? This may lead me to actually getting an SG guitar at some point in the future. Or maybe another Ibanez...?
Cheap gyms suck - and how to find a good one
I finally joined a gym. But I had to shop around first and go through the hell that is The Cheap Gym before finding one that was decent.
Concerning my weight loss journey (which I finished and still hold a BMI of 22), this involved some exercise equipment. Treadmills, specifically. I literally wore out two treadmills during my weight loss process. Bear in mind these were the cheap type. Had I bought something better, it would probably still be working today. But because I went with the cheap stuff, the first one had a track that fell apart, and the second one had a motor that burnt out. I should note I never ran on either treadmill. Just power walking. It still broke both of them.
I mention this because after the second treadmill gave up the ghost, I stopped buying exercise gear and developed my own workout routine using my own body weight for resistance. Pushups, squats and various arm and leg exercises. And it worked. I kept up the routine, still do to this day, and the weight stayed off.
However, for years I've been wanting to join a gym to get access to some decent exercise equipment, and did...
...which brings me to my experience with The Cheap Gym. I will not mention this gym by name, and its name doesn't matter because they all operate the same. I didn't even join this place. They ticked me off so bad that I walked right out before even signing up.
You may be thinking of joining one of those gyms that promotes membership for $9.99 a month. Before you do, follow my tips below.
Before telling you the tips, the gym I found that worked for me was my local recreation center. The price was great, the staff friendly, and while the cardio room is small, it was what I was looking for. If you are fortunate enough to have a rec center near you, try them first. You'll understand why after reading my tips.
The Cheap Gym Experience
My experience at this place was as follows:
Within less than 2 minutes from walking in the door, the "trainer" seated me at a desk, grabbed a form and a pen, and instantly started trying to get personal information out of me. She did not offer a tour of the facility first. This girl was in SELL SELL SELL mode. Her goal was to get my info, charge me and go on her merry way.
I walked out.
The reviews of this place warned about the "snotty girl" working there. And that's the girl I got. She lost a sale.
And that brings me to tip #1.
Tip #1: Read Google user reviews and Yelp reviews for gyms. Always.
You can find Google user reviews by using Google Maps. Just type in the name of the gym you're thinking about joining along with its location, Google will find it, and from there you'll see reviews you can read.
Yelp has been around since 2004, and a lot of people use it regularly to post reviews of businesses. Like with Google Maps, type in the gym name and location to find reviews on it there too.
What you're basically looking for with user reviews are two things. The number of reviews, and whether the 10 most recently posted reviews are positive or negative.
For example, a gym may have had wonderful reviews two years ago, but then management changed and it's terrible now. When reading reviews, always sort by most recent first and go with that. It's usually correct.
What is the biggest complaint about bad gyms? Billing. As in people getting overcharged, being signed up for "services" they never signed up for, being forced to go to small claims court just to dispute a bill, and so on.
If you see the majority of complaints are about billing, don't go there.
Tip #2: Understand that most (if not all) cheap gyms have staff that work on commission
This is the reason why I didn't even get to the signup process at The Cheap Gym. The girl "trainer" was in total selling mode. Get people in, get their info (so they can sell your address to a mailing list of course!), sign them up for everything possible, milk them for all they're worth, move on to the next one. That's how all cheap gyms operate.
If one of these cheap gyms is the only thing you have near you and you have no other option, pay any and all membership fees on a prepaid card. Do NOT hand over your debit or credit card or checking account information no matter what. If you do, you're basically asking to be ripped off.
Could you pay in cash? That depends on which cheap gym you're talking about. Some will take cash. Others "require" that you have a "backup" means of paying the bill. If that's the sleazy way they operate, use prepaid. If the gym hits the limit of the card and tries to squeeze for more, they can't. That's your protection.
Tip #3: Know that $9.99 a month is never $9.99 a month
You cannot walk into a cheap gym that advertises a $9.99 per month membership, get one and expect it to stay that way. That's not going to happen, because there's either an activation fee, hidden annual fee, or sometimes both!
Many cheap gyms require an upfront activation fee of $120 or more on top of your monthly membership fee, which in effect doubles your yearly cost. Now that $9.99/mo just turned into $19.99/mo. Not such a good deal now, eh?
Really shady gyms will charge you an annual fee after a certain period of time. You'll be paying your monthly fee, and then whammo, there's a $40 to $75 (or more) additional charge out of nowhere. The cheap gym will claim your "promotional period" is over, and now you have to pay more.
Really, really shady gyms will do the switcheroo on your annual contract. What was a certain price has now changed, and of course it's more. They might even "lock in" the fee where there's nothing you can do about it except take them to court just to stop them from charging you.
Tip #4: Better gyms are very upfront with their pricing structure
When you get to this level, you're no longer in cheap gym territory, because you will be paying around $40 a month along with a $75 to $100 activation fee just to get in the door.
Worth it? If you want a place that doesn't hide what they charge or try to sneak in any new charges, yes it is.
Gyms that charge more usually aren't in the game of upselling. At worst, they may offer you personal training programs and/or classes sometimes, but at least they are not constantly up your butt about squeezing every dollar they can out of you.
No options left? These are places you can work out for cheap or free
The only reason anyone ever goes to a cheap gym is because it's cheap. If you absolutely have to go there, it's like I said, use a prepaid card or cash.
If the financial risk sounds too scary to use a cheap gym (and I wouldn't blame you), there are some cheap and free options.
Cheap: City-run recreation center or fitness center
This is the one I went with as stated above. In most American cities, the local government has a rec center that offers something for a good price. It usually will not be as modernized as paid gyms are. Exercise equipment may be well-used, but hey it all works.
What's the best thing about a rec center? No upselling. Nobody there works on commission. That's the biggest perk there is.
Cheap or free: Park
Find a park, and go have a walk or a run. Or do some pushups or whatever. Whether the park is free or not depends on how your local government operates it.
If you're lucky, your local park may have outdoor exercise equipment ready-to-use.
Free: Playgrounds
Have a jog or run here. Free to use.
Free: Big shopping mall
You've seen those mall walkers. There's a reason they're there. Walking a mall is free. Go have a walk, but don't run. Security will usually kick you out if you start doing that. If you want to go when the mall is safest, do what the old folks do and get there the second the doors open in the morning.
Free: High school track
This one depends if your local high school actually has a track and allows the public access to it. If your local school does offer this, go there and have a run.
Free (maybe): Work out at home
I label this as maybe-free because it depends what you want to get done in your workouts.
For walking and running, you'll most likely need the treadmill. Not free.
For literally everything else, you can use your own body weight which is totally free, or buy some low-cost kettle bells or dumbbells at Walmart or Target, and maybe a proper thick workout mat. DO NOT use those cheap flimsy yoga mats, because those are way too thin and awful to use.
Will I be a regular gym goer?
I've been wanting to get in a gym for years and am now finally doing it. My first day there went well and I'm looking forward to more.
Most people who join gyms are known as "tryhards". They get a membership, go to the gym maybe 2 or 3 times, then never go again.
I don't want to be one of those people, and won't.
I was lucky enough to have a rec center near me that's nice to go to, got a membership there and intend to take full advantage of it.