watch influencers are idiots

Because I just bought a new watch, of course I had to dive down the rabbit hole of watch influencer videos just to see what's up.

Heh, yeah. About that. Kinda comical.

Before diving deeper there, here a few truths when it comes to watches.

The overwhelming majority of people who actually wear a watch are either going to have one of the following on their wrist: In smartwatch space, it's either made by Apple or made by Garmin. In the fitness space, it's all Fitbit. In the traditional digital watch space, Casio or Timex. In the traditional analog watch space, Invicta, Movado or Citizen.

I'll explain the traditional analog brands a little more.

Invicta and Movado both have dedicated stores in many midsize to larger shopping malls.

Citizen is also found in the mall, but also somewhere else most people don't think about unless it's pointed out to them, the casino gift shop. If for example you visit one of those large Native American run casinos and visit the gift shop area, chances are you'll see a Citizen watch display case in there. And those will be the nicest (if not the only) watches in the shop.

Ultimately, the watches that get sold most is where the foot traffic is. Casio, Timex, Apple, and Garmin are all at Walmart. Invicta, Movado and sometimes Seiko are at the mall. Citizen is also at the mall and in some casinos.

For luxury brands, same thing, except people only know one name for a luxury watch, Rolex. That's it. And just like "lesser" brands, yeah they have storefronts too. I don't have to travel far to find an official Rolex authorized dealer with that familiar green ROLEX signage on the storefront.

The only other luxury brand that some guys who know a tiny bit about luxury watches would recognize would be TAG Heuer. And again, the fact some guys know that brand even exists is because it's accessible where there is foot traffic. Maybe not so much with freestanding boutiques but rather luxury jewelers.

Where online influencing is concerned, internet does not have any real influence in the watch space and arguably never has.

Using myself as an example, I stopped consuming internet watch content for a while. Probably almost a year. I start watching watch videos again, and come to find out Casio released a watch with a real deal automatic movement in it, the Edifice EFK. Is this a new model? Well, technically yes for this year, but it's been out for over 6 months. My point is I had no idea at all this watch even existed until literally now because I had stopped consuming internet watch content prior.

For the curious, the Edifice EFK is... fine. Priced right, to be sure, because it's Casio. Built right, because again, Casio. I think it's best said that if it were the choice between the EFK and the Tissot PRX automatic (not the quartz one), yeah, Casio all day just for price alone. I'm not dumping $500+ more for the Tissot because "Swiss". To hell with that.

I guarantee you're going to have the same reaction to the EFK I had, as in, "Meh, it's okay." But as far as the watch influencers are concerned, it was OH MY GOD HUGE NEWS, CASIO HAS AN AUTOMATIC when that watch came out. No, not huge news. Yeah, I obviously like Casio, but the truth is that I can still get a Seiko automatic all day for south of $200 and it's decent for what it is. So if I gotta-gotta have a new automatic movement watch, I'd just get a Seiko and call it a day.

Or, if I were willing to dump a little more cash to have "the good watch", Seiko Presage, any model. Well, almost any, as I'd have to get a model that would fit my smaller wrist, but you get the point. A Seiko Presage is absolutely and totally a-okay for a fancy schmancy looking thing that genuinely looks, feels and operates like a luxury watch should without the luxury price tag. That's a watch to wear to the office, the golf course or whatever. And it's guaranteed what's on your wrist will look better compared to everybody else you know because Presage does that minimalist luxury style 100% correct.

You won't hear those watch influencers talking about Seiko Presage, however. Not a peep. And that's really telling, because what they try and hock instead are all these worthless microbrands selling a watch for over a grand that's tacky, boring, or both. And as always, the influencer says the Microbrand Whatever watch is Best Thing Ever. Yeah, sure pal. Sure.

Another thing watch influencers never talk about is the return policy.

With just about all microbrand return policies, if you have to send a watch back for a refund, you get stuck eating the shipping cost almost every time along with import taxes and/or duties every time.

And the straps... ugh.

Once I bought a specific strap because so many watch influencers said they were oh-so awesome, and I bought direct from the company since the the price was good. Okay, fine. For the strap I got, yeah, decent enough quality, but definitely not some life-changing experience. What soured me? A barrage of marketing emails right after purchase. That company immediately started blasting me with messages in email and it took me something like two weeks to finally get them to stop.

That was the first and last time I bought a strap direct from a company. I bought that strap because I fell for the online hype like an idiot. These days I'll just get a strap from Amazon or eBay. Strapcode still has some of the best replacement bracelets out there, and plenty of those super comfortable stretch straps are out there too, most of which are totally unbranded. Fine, whatever. They work. I don't need branding on my frickin' watch strap.

Then there's the whole thing about analog.

As I've said before, I don't even like analog watches. Yes, I own a few, but don't wear any of them. Okay, that's not true. I own two that I genuinely like, but only because they're ana-digi. Two Casio AQ230 models. One in stainless steel with black dial, and the other a gold with linen dial. The black dial one has a slightly wonky bottom left button, but still works. Very small watch, but elegant, super lightweight, super comfortable to wear. Great little guy.

As for my all-analog watches, nope, they never get worn. Out of what I have, only two are worth keeping, and I should throw the others out.

I do have to remind myself when watching watch influencer videos that I do not like analog watches. Yeah, those influencers make that microbrand analog look all sorts of sexy with lighting and close-up angles and whatnot.. but I know I'd never get along with it. Not now, not ever.

Influencers will, of course, shill the analog timepieces most because microbrands don't do digital. This means whatever microbrand watch you get will be one of Fifty Flavors of Seiko NH35 Movement. One microbrand will be Flavor #37. Another will be Flavor #49. Whatever, doesn't matter, all the same movement. Some microbrands even make "time-only" watches where the date complication is actually still there but not present on the dial at all because it was cheaper to build that way. L-A-Z-Y.

If it's all Seiko NH35 anyway, um... just get the Seiko for under $200 instead of the same thing in a microbrand for over a grand? If I actually liked analog, which I don't, that's what I'd get.

So yeah, watch influencers. Still as stupid as ever.

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