smokey and the bandit part 3

A few weeks ago I was walking through Wal-Mart and I saw this "Pursuit Pack" which was all three Smokey and the Bandit movies for $10.50. Heck, I couldn't pass that up so I bought it.

The first movie is the only one worth watching and it's definitely done right.

The second movie is awful. Just. Plain. Awful.

And the third..

You have absolutely no idea how bad this movie is unless you've seen it.

It's so bad that you watch it just to experience how big of a piece of crap it is.

It's such a piece of crap that I had to write about it.

Let's start with the plot.

Short version

Sheriff Buford T. Justice must transport a fake fish 1,800 miles to win a bet of $250,000.

I'm not kidding, this is the plot.

Long version

Sheriff Buford T. Justice has finally decided to retire. At his retirement ceremony, the Enos brothers (from the last two movies) decide just for fun to walk in during the ceremony and publicly embarrass him by saying he never caught The Bandit. Then they challenge him to a time test race, whereas if he wins, he gets $250,000. Justice refuses, then goes to Florida with his son to live out his golden years.

After arriving in Florida, Justice becomes miserable from being so bored, then decides to take up the Enos Brothers' offer and travels to see them. The rules of the time race involve Justice transporting a fake fish displaying the new logo for a line of seafood restaurants the brothers are opening up. Justice must transport this fish on top of the police car he's driving within a specific time to a specific destination (Texas) else he doesn't get the money. Justice agrees, and off he goes.

The Enos Brothers, deciding to play dirty, call up Cledus Snow (Snowman) to go after Justice, steal the fish and keep it away from him so he doesn't win the bet. They also say that if Snow brings the fish to where it's supposed to go, he will win the $250,000 bet. Snow excitedly agrees, because he gets to play the part of The Bandit.

Yes, Snow is The Bandit.

"Crazy kooky hijinks" (that's sarcasm) ensue as Snow and Justice travel to Texas to deliver the fish.

Magically, there are ramps everywhere in this movie. Cars are jumped so much it's ridiculous. There are so many jumped you'd think people vault their cars into the air as an everyday thing. The Bandit's car (above) even jumps right out of the garage from a dead stop. Makes no sense at all.

In addition to cars jumping all over the place, they're also crashing through everything as well.

Now let's talk about The Bandit's car.

His car is a Pontiac Trans Am. Since this movie was released in 1983, it's either an '82 or an '83 model. The more modernized wedge shape of the car doesn't fit the "crazy lawbreaker" image at all. And slapping a confederate flag on the front of it is unbelievably tacky.

The original car was a 1977 black and gold Trans Am. It worked and it looked good. But the 1982-1983 T/A just doesn't work at all.

Here are some of the unanswered questions with this movie:

• If Justice is retired, why is he driving a police car with a full light rack in the beginning of the movie? Did the police department decide to give him a police cruiser as a gift?
• Why do the Enos brothers even care whether or not Justice is retiring?
• How did the Enos brothers know Justice was retiring?
• Why is Justice wearing a gold helmet at his retirement ceremony?
• How do Justice and Snow magically know each other's exact location across almost 2,000 miles, given the fact they lose each other several times throughout the movie?
• At the nudist camp when Snow jumps in a boat, why didn't Justice just take the fish from The Bandit's parked car and LEAVE?
• At the race track, how does the announcer know that the two cars that entered the track were The Bandit and Sheriff Justice?
• How can Justice see "The real Bandit" in his mind at the end of the movie?

This movie resembles Swiss cheese it has so many holes in it and you'll find many more.

Watch it for no other reason that it's just so, so bad.

Garmin nuvi 255W crapola part 2

(part 1) nuvi 255W #2 arrived today from Dell. This time it wasn't from UPS but from FedEx. One corner of the box was a little crunched but the unit is fine and in A-OK condition. Works perfectly.

Before getting into that, here's my experience with the return process.

Dell sent me what's called an "electronic UPS Returns Label" in email. There's only one problem with this. I don't have a printer so I can't print it out.

I called the local UPS Store, which is an authorized terminal where I can ship this thing out, and told them my issue. They said I could simply forward the email to them and they would print it out at the shop. Cool! So that's exactly what I did. I forwarded the electronic label, arrived at the store, they printed it, gave me a receipt and the unit it now on its way back to Dell.

Concerning the first 255W I received, here's the list of things that were wrong with it:

• Crunched packing box
• Creased product box
• Touchscreen required you to press really hard to accept touches
• USB power port in the back was way too tight
• Power switch was very stiff

As for my new one, it has absolutely none of these problems whatsoever and acts exactly like it should. When I pushed the power slider, it was smooth and the moment I touched the screen I knew this one was a keeper.

The 255W acts exactly the same way my 205 did. The only real difference is the text-to-speech with the "Samantha" voice (which sounds good but a bit terse), widescreen and US/Canada maps instead of just lower 48-state US.

I'm happy with the purchase.

Garmin nuvi 255W crapola

My brand spankin' new Garmin nuvi 255W arrived from Dell (yes I ordered it from Dell). The first thing I noticed is that the packing box looked like it had been stepped on.

Not cool.

But I figured the inside Garmin box with the actual nuvi in it would be okay.

I took out the box and it had been creased.

Not cool.

Still figuring my nuvi would be okay, I took it out of its box. Everything seemed okay with it.

I grabbed the power cord, went outside and turned it on so it could get its first signal. That went thru without a hitch.

On attempt to plug in the power cord it was way too tight into the USB port in the back.

Not cool.

But even after all this crap I said, "Okay, let's configure this thing."

That's when I got the most upset. The touchscreen required a really firm, and I mean firm, touch in order for it to even register touches from my finger.

Very, very uncool.

I figured that maybe the screen needed a cleaning. I cleaned it. No help at all. Never have I had to press a touchscreen on a Garmin GPS so hard just to get it to function.

In other words, it's a defective nuvi.

I called Dell and will be getting a replacement unit tomorrow.

And if this one exhibits the same problem, I'm not calling Dell back. I'm going to West Marine for warranty replacement direct from Garmin. They're an authorized Garmin retailer. If the touchscreen b.s. happens again, I want to show somebody what I'm talking about, because if this happens twice in a row from the same vendor (Dell), I'm not taking another unit from them. No way. If one is bad, then the second is bad, chances are they have a whole lot of them that are bad as well. And I don't want to order anything from a bad lot, obviously.

~ ~ ~

Here's what's happened with Garmin and warranty replacements:

Personally, I've never had a Garmin GPS break. Ever. But my father's did. He has a StreetPilot 2720. The touchscreen failed completely. Fortunately it has a remote control so you could still use it. It was in warranty at the time, so we headed over to a West Marine, they did the whole RMA thing and got a replacement unit which has worked flawlessly ever since. No problems at all.

Here's what's happened with me and Garmin GPS touchscreens:

The best touchscreen I ever used on a Garmin GPS was with the StreetPilot c340. That screen was awesome and very responsive. It never missed a touch. Ever. But I would never use one again because it is a beast, as in large. Big, clunky and has weak audio speakers. But the screen was awesome.

The c580 which I still currently own was slightly less responsive than the c340 due to the anti-glare coating for better readability in sunlight. However it was still lightning quick on touch response (and still is).

The nuvi 270 I had briefly had a touchscreen that was on par with the c580.

The nuvi 205 was on par to the 270/c580.

The nuvi 255W I just received was the absolute worst, hence the reason I'm getting a replacement that will hopefully not exhibit the same problem.

Even before I ordered the 255W, I knew it was not exactly uncommon for this to happen to nuvi widescreen units. It seems that it only happens with the 4.3-inch screens and never the 3.5-inch. I don't know if it's the sensor, the anti-glare coating, the screen itself? No clue. But it does happen periodically. I have read several forum posts on various parts of the internet from people complaining about this. The advice given to those is always the same, "If it's in warranty, get a replacement." And that always works.

Hopefully it will work for me. If not, I'm going to West Marine.

we're gonna turn it on

The Electric Company theme song from season 6, the one I remember, is the coolest version.

Here's the lyrics because some are a bit difficult to understand:

HEY, YOU GUYS!
Movin' out in a new way
Movin' out in a new way
We're gonna turn it on (turn it on)
We're gonna bring you the power (you can do it)
We're gonna light up the dark of night like the brightest day in a whole new way
We're gonna turn it on (doo doo, doo)
We're gonna bring you the power (doo doo, doo doo)
We're gonna tell you the truest word that you ever heard anybody say
Movin' out in a new way
Movin' out in a new way
We're gonna turn it on
We're gonna bring you the power
It's comin' down on the lines, strong as it can be through the courtesy
Of The Electric Company

This show ran from 1971 to 1977, however it stayed in heavy rerun rotation on PBS up until 1985. Being I was born in 1975, I did see quite a few of these episodes.

Now that I get to look back on this show, review some of the sketches, I have to say that this is probably one of the most unique kids shows of all time.

First: Try and find a children's television show with a theme song more cinematic than the one this had. Seriously. You won't find one. Blaring horn section, tubular bells like a newscast, fast beat, timpani drums? It's a POWERFUL song. Try to imagine seeing this as a kid. When I heard this song, my mind said, "Whoa.. this must be important. I'd better watch."

Second: This show is decidedly '70s.

Third: The primary actors are all adults. Yes, there are kids on the show but the focus is placed on the adults first. It's an interesting twist to what we now know as a kid's educational show.

After watching a few minutes of The Electric Company, you may say, "Okay, that show is weird." Hardly. It is good children's television.

See, the deal is that the kid's shows of the '70s and early '80s were all written by children of the '50s and '60s, with a big chunk of them being hippies or former hippies. Said honestly, those guys and gals made the best children's television shows on the planet. They kept it fun, simple and never, repeat, never went for the gross-out factor.

This didn't just count for The Electric Company but any children's television during that time on PBS. I consider myself very fortunate to have grown up during that time, and yeah, I learned a lot. The format worked.

bought my windows 7

There's a promo going on right now with Microsoft where if you buy Windows 7 Home Premium Upgrade Edition, it's only 50 bucks starting today and lasting until July 11. So I bought it from Amazon specifically. I won't get it until just before Halloween (accounting for the 5-to-9 day ship time after Oct 22 which is the official release date), but it is bought. The shipping will be free.

This is the third time I've ever actually bought a copy of Windows.

The first time was Windows 95 Upgrade, which ironically I bought for about the same price as the Win 7 Upgrade.

I never bought Windows 98. It came installed with the crappy Compaq Preasrio I was using at the time.

I never bought Windows XP Home Edition. That came installed on the Dell box I bought after the Compaq, and ran it for several years.

I did buy Windows XP Professional Edition. That cost me $149, bought in March 2007.

I'm really glad Microsoft had this sale because it saves me $150. And that's a lot of cash saved at this point in time. I am running Windows 7 RC right now on the big box PC and have been since its release. It beats the ever-lovin' crap out of XP. My laptop still uses XP. Every time I use XP I can't stand it now. Yes, Win 7 is just that good.

The ones I skipped

There are not one but two versions of Windows I completely skipped. The first was Windows Me, the second being Windows Vista.

I used Windows Me years ago on a then-friend's PC and that version was truly a complete piece of crap. Microsoft should have never released this and it boggles the mind why they did in the first place. It barely lasted over a year. Windows Me was released September 2000. Windows XP on the shelves October 2001.

Windows Me was so bad that it is in PC World's top 5 of the 25 worst tech products of all time. 'Nuff said.

Vista literally scared me. If I had dared run that OS in pre-SP1 days, life would have seriously sucked. I never had any intention of buying it at all, much less using it.

I'll be looking forward to getting my boxed version of 7 in October.