smokey and the bandit part 3

A few weeks ago I was walking through Wal-Mart and I saw this "Pursuit Pack" which was all three Smokey and the Bandit movies for $10.50. Heck, I couldn't pass that up so I bought it.

The first movie is the only one worth watching and it's definitely done right.

The second movie is awful. Just. Plain. Awful.

And the third..

You have absolutely no idea how bad this movie is unless you've seen it.

It's so bad that you watch it just to experience how big of a piece of crap it is.

It's such a piece of crap that I had to write about it.

Let's start with the plot.

Short version

Sheriff Buford T. Justice must transport a fake fish 1,800 miles to win a bet of $250,000.

I'm not kidding, this is the plot.

Long version

Sheriff Buford T. Justice has finally decided to retire. At his retirement ceremony, the Enos brothers (from the last two movies) decide just for fun to walk in during the ceremony and publicly embarrass him by saying he never caught The Bandit. Then they challenge him to a time test race, whereas if he wins, he gets $250,000. Justice refuses, then goes to Florida with his son to live out his golden years.

After arriving in Florida he becomes miserable from being so bored, then decides to take up the Enos Brothers' offer and travels to see them. The rules of the time race involve Justice transporting a fake fish displaying the new logo for a line of seafood restaurants the brothers are opening up. Justice must transport this fish on top of the police car he's driving within a specific time to a specific destination (Texas) else he doesn't get the money. Justice agrees and off he goes.

The Enos Brothers, deciding to play dirty, call up Cledus Snow (Snowman) to go after Justice, steal the fish and keep it away from him so he doesn't win the bet. They also say that if Snow brings the fish to where it's supposed to go, he will win the $250,000 bet. Snow excitedly agrees because he gets to play the part of The Bandit.

Yes, Snow is The Bandit.

"Crazy kooky hijinks" (that's sarcasm) ensue as Snow and Justice travel to Texas to deliver the fish.

Before pointing out some of the reasons this movie completely sucks, here's a few more screen caps:

Magically, there are ramps everywhere in this movie. Cars are jumped so much it's ridiculous. There are so many jumped you'd think people vault their cars into the air as an everyday thing. The Bandit's car (above) even jumps right out of the garage from a dead stop. Makes no sense at all.

Above is the fish atop Justice's car. The entire movie is about delivering this fake fish.

Above, Justice's car crashing through a crapload of ice bags. This is supposed to be entertaining. In addition to cars jumping all over the place, they're also crashing through everything as well.

Now let's talk about The Bandit's car.

His car is a Pontiac Trans Am. Since this movie was released in 1983, this is either an '82 or an '83 model. It doesn't fit the "crazy lawbreaker" image at all. Slapping a confederate flag on the front of it is unbelievably tacky.

The original car was a 1977 black and gold Trans Am. It worked and it looked good. But the 1980s T/A just doesn't work at all.

Here are some of the unanswered questions with this movie:

If Justice is retired, why is he driving a police car with a full light rack in the beginning of the movie? Did the police department decide to give him a police cruiser as a gift?
Why do the Enos brothers even care whether or not Justice is retiring?
How did the Enos brothers know Justice was retiring?
Why is Justice wearing a gold helmet at his retirement ceremony?
How do Justice and Snow magically know each other's exact location across almost 2,000 miles, given the fact they lose each other several times throughout the movie?
At the nudist camp when Snow jumps in a boat, why didn't Justice just take the fish from The Bandit's parked car and LEAVE?
At the race track, how does the announcer know that the two cars that entered the track were The Bandit and Sheriff Justice?
How can Justice see "The real Bandit" in his mind at the end of the movie?

This movie resembles Swiss cheese it has so many holes in it and you'll find many more.

Watch it for no other reason that it's just so, so bad.

Published 2009 Aug 26