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B movies from the 80s

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There are three B movies from the 1980s that as far as I'm concerned stand out more than any other. H.O.T.S. (1979, not 80s but close enough), Screwballs (1983) and Porky's (1982). All three of these epitomize what raunchy sex humor is supposed to be in a B movie.

I consider the best of the three Screwballs, because that movie is genuinely laugh-out-loud funny in several places. The best part as far as laughs go is the bowling scene, no question. Also it should be said that concerning the storyline, as ridiculous as it is, you actually really get into it. It's a high school movie, but the jock, rich kid, prep, fat kid and nerd all band together to go after this one girl. This does not happen in high school flicks because there are usually lines drawn between the cliques. Not in Screwballs. The pretty girl is actually the 'bad guy' here. What happens at the end is satisfying - and not for the obvious reason. You'll have to see it to know what I'm talking about.

Another thing about Screwballs is that the comedy in the movie is genuinely well done. Director Rafal Zielinski did know a thing or two about timing (in comedy, timing is everything), the writing was done in a way that was easy to follow where you really want to know how everything turns out, and the over-the-top characters (like the librarian) are just plain goofy-awesome.

As far as H.O.T.S. and Porky's go, eh.. yeah, they have their moments but they're not easy to sit through.

Something to note is that internet porn ruined the B movie industry completely. The entire reason to watch these flicks was to have a good laugh and see tits. Mostly tits. That was it. When internet porn happened, B movies died a very quick death, never came back and never will. Guys could now see tits in seconds just with a few clicks of a mouse, so why bother with the movie?

A kid today would probably question why guys watched these movies back in the day at all. The answer is really simple. It was a way to rent a soft porn flick without being overly obvious about it. Guys could actually discuss these movies in public and wax on about the comedy scenes without being labeled perverts. Try talking about a real porn movie like that. You can't. Parents also let us watch movies like this because there was no outright sex in them. Tits everywhere? Yes, but acceptable.

And by the way, any one of the three movies, as bad as they are, are far more entertaining than any real porn you could watch because they're actual movies. That much is true.

That same kid would probably watch these movies and say, "Oh, that's just like American Pie!" No, no no.. American Pie and other movies of the ilk got (as in outright stole in some instances) their ideas from 80s B movies originally.

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