Guitar shredding sucks
Guitar shredding is one of those things that only metalhead kids and stuck-in-the-80s guitar shredders think is awesome, but in fact never was.
I can prove shredding *isn't* awesome quite easily by posing this simple challenge: Name any 10 famous guitar shredders right now off the top of your head without looking it up on the internet first.
You'll most likely come up with at least 3 or possibly 5, but definitely not 10 without looking it up on the internet first. That's because there really aren't that many famous guitar shredders.
Ever heard of The Great Kat? I didn't think so. She's arguably the "best" female guitar shredder that ever existed. If you did not know of her, that proves I know more about guitar shredding than you do since I'm aware of her "famous" shredding, and I'm not even a shredder.
Why does guitar shredding suck?
1. Shredding is about showmanship and not musicianship
The only point to shredding is to show off how fast you can play complicated scales with technical precision. That's it. And technical music sucks because you can't clap your hands, stomp your feet or bang your head to it.
A shredder would reply to this with, "I don't care about any of those things." Well, if you ever expect to "make it" as a guitar player, you should, because a song with no hook will get you nowhere.
2. People get unimpressed by shredding after about 10 seconds
Guitar shredders are under the impression that since they are concentrating so much on their playing, other people will be too.
Nope.
You'll command attention for ten seconds. That's your window. After that, if there's no song, nobody cares.
3. Shredding is boring noise
This really ticks off shredder players when I say this. In their minds, the speed, "intricacy" and impossibly difficult scales they're playing is the most awesome thing in the universe.
Wrong.
It's the most boring thing in the universe.
A song which is mostly if not all soloing to most non-musician's ears is not a song at all. They hear it as filler, as in noise.
4. Most shredders can't write riffs at all
A shredder knows every single note on the fretboard and can "play the impossible", so to speak, but yet can't write a single good riff.
Ask any shredder if he's written any songs. He will say "Yes! Of course I have!", but they're all unfinished.
Want to know why?
It's for one of two reasons (or both).
Reason #1: A guitar shredder is his own worst critic.
He can't write riffs because he gets disinterested with the process quickly, gives up, and just keeps shredding instead. The end result is that sure, he probably has a million songs written, but none of them will ever be completed. Notes are so micromanaged that he ends up making things way too complicated and - surprise, surprise - BORING, even for himself. So songs go unfinished and stay unfinished.
Reason #2: A guitar shredder never learned how to write riffs at all.
I've known guitar players like this. The shredder gets his first guitar, and all he does is concentrate on soloing, just soloing, and nothing else. That was the first and only thing he learned. Now he's a great soloist, but a crappy riff writer because he never learned how.
Here's another fun fact about shredders: A ton of them can play Far Beyond the Sun by Yngwie Malmsteen from start to finish easily, but can't play All Right Now by Free. The reason? They'll say it's "too slow", but the fact is that they can't play standard rock riffs. The shredder is completely out of his element and will have big problems playing that stupidly simple song. You'll see his hands tighten up, see lots of jerky motions, his timing will be way off and he'll get really, really embarrassed (and ticked off) by the fact he just can't do it - because he never learned how.
A shredder will even go so far as to say, "That's the rhythm player's job!" concerning basic rhythm playing. Oh, screw you, Mr. Shredder. Learn how to riff, jackass.
The shredder might even fire back with, "Hey! I play acoustic too and can riff that way!" I seriously doubt it, because all you're doing on acoustic is that super-intricate nonsense instead of SONG-STYLE strumming.
Speaking of strumming, that's another foreign concept to a shredder because they simply don't do it. All they know are short, jerky motions for super-precise picking and nothing about full 6-string up/down strumming with a proper fluid motion to produce even tone.
What does the shredder need to do to suck less?
By this point you're thinking, "Screw you. You don't know anything about guitar shredding. I love to shred. It's what I do, and I do it well."
It might be true you shred well, but you're "skilled" at all the things on guitar that absolutely nobody cares about. And you know I'm right.
Put your angst-ridden "metal attitude" aside for a moment, and do the following below to suck less.
1. Stop playing for other guitar players
Shredder's mentality:
"If I can play a million notes a second, I can really impress people when I'm at Guitar Center!"
Reality:
WHY would you care about impressing ANYONE at the GUITAR STORE? Who cares? Are you hoping to impress other players with your "mad skills"? What possible benefit do you get out of that? I'll answer that question for you: NONE!
Do not play to impress other guitar players. Do not do that. Ever. They will not go to your shows, and certainly won't buy your music on iTunes. You need to target your music to NON-MUSICIANS, as in regular people. And guess what? They hate guitar shredding. Surprise, surprise...
2. Knowing more chords and scales doesn't make you any better of a player
Shredder's mentality:
"People will be really impressed with all the notes and chords I know!"
Reality:
These 'people' you're referring to are other guitar players. Again, STOP DOING THAT. STOP PLAYING FOR OTHER PLAYERS. Nobody cares. Write good riffs instead.
3. Write an actual song
Yes, Mr. or Ms. Shredder, I know, this will not be easy for you. But I'm sure you're up to the challenge. If you can master every note on the fretboard, this should be seriously easy stuff for you.
Your challenge is this:
Write a song between 3:00 to 3:30 long, and use one of the two standard rock song structures. These formulas are very simple to follow.
Formula 1:
- Verse (Intro)
- Verse
- Chorus
- Verse
- Chorus
- Bridge
- Chorus
- Chorus (End)
Formula 2:
- Verse (Intro)
- Verse
- Chorus
- Verse
- Chorus
- Bridge
- Verse
- Chorus
- Chorus (End)
Verse is "Riff 1".
Chorus is "Riff 2" and the hook of the song.
Bridge is "Riff 3" and the portion where you would solo.
One song, three riffs. I'm sure you could do that.
When writing the song, DO NOT SOLO until your riffs are completed FIRST. Concentrate on FINISHING THE SONG. When your riffs are done and structured using one of the two simple formulas above, guess what? You've got a song. Isn't that great?
When you have actual songs, you've got something you can actually work with, and you also have music other musicians can work with as well. Isn't that cool? Darned right it is.
Remember: It's a hell of a lot easier to get a band together when there's a song list ready to go.
4. Riff more
You've got the soloing thing down. Now it's time to work on riffs and structure those into songs. Simple, straightforward, headbanging riffs. This is what made Metallica sell millions of records with their self-titled album, what made Megadeth sell millions of copies when they released Symphony of Destruction and the album Countdown to Extinction, what made Persistence of Time from Anthrax sound so amazing, and the list goes on and on.
Those three albums I cited as examples are all about RIFFS. Good, solid, headbanger kick-you-in-the-face riffs. Sure, there are complicated solos on all of them, but the point is that the riffs are there, structured right, and they're good.
Cut back your shredding and riff it up more.
And if you happen to make a few songs that sell a bunch of copies, send a few bucks my way, because you know where to find me. Remember, before today you probably never realized how important metal riffs really were. Now you do.
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Published 2012 Jul 19