Best eBay listing ---EVER---
THIS absolutely kicks ass: READ THIS EBAY LISTING (edit: link is dead).
Here's a small excerpt from it:
"I received this stupid pen on my birthday years ago from my ex-wife, and even before I divorced her flabby body, I hated the pen. I have no idea why she bought me this piece of crap. Sure, it writes fine and could "seem" kind of cool, but I hate it. The color is ugly, it barely fits in my banana sized hands, and it comes with some weird carrying case. King Kong could barely write with it. Every time I open up my drawer and see this waste of space, I am reminded that I used to be married to that skank who gave me a stupid pen for my birthday."
Read more of this - it is absolutely frickin' HILARIOUS.
I will be capturing this to PDF later for download on this site. That's how much I think that listing rocks.