Pearloid pick guards are dopey but cool

I think pearloid a.k.a. "mother of toilet seat" has come around to the point where it's cool again. It's still dopey due to it being an obvious fake fancy. But when I look at it now, I think yeah, not bad and I like it again. As you see on the Squier Classic Vibe 70s Stratocaster (only on the black one), it can work.

What do I mean by fake fancy? Let's talk about that.

A fancy that's real is abalone. If you look up abalone pick guards, you will see much more in the way of intricate designs, colors that "move", some very nice artsy-farsty things, and so on.

The whole "mother of toilet seat" joke comes from two things. There's mother of pearl, of which a ton of musical instrument stuff exists for that, and the fact decorative toilet seats did use a very similar pattern.

To the best of my knowledge, pearloid is just a way of taking cheap acrylic and fancying up the look.

I don't know what specific decade pearloid guards appeared. But I do remember that in the '90s, a pearloid pick guard on a Stratocaster was considered quite the upscale option. Every other Strat guard was just a plain color, but pearloid, ooh ahh, now we're in fancy pants territory.

The pearloid guard was around for a time and then went away. Now it appears on the Squier guitar seen above, and that one is supposedly a '70s inspired design.

Is it?

The headstock is definitely '70s-era Fender, but as far as I know, pearloid isn't a '70s-specific thing.

Seeing more wood on electric guitars is absolutely a '70s thing. And, sure enough, the Squier '70s Strat has a natural finish version.

But black finish + pearloid guard? Not really '70s.

I'm not saying it's a bad look, because it totally works. It's teetering on the edge of being cheesy/ugly but stays above board just enough to hold that fake fancy look without appearing ridiculous.

What I'm saying is that I like it. Ten years ago, no. But now? Yes. Pearloid has come around.

Published 2024 May 14