smartphones suck

This bloggo is an extended comment to the reply I made here.

What makes a smartphone suck?

1. The cost of the phone is too high.
2. The cost of the plan to use it is too high.
3. It does everything, but not any one thing well.

Smartphones cost too much

A smartphone is not a phone. It's a computer. A really slow computer.

No smartphone right now can be considered "fast." They are slow. Any speed achieved is from programmers using workarounds to overcome the slowness of the CPU and limited memory.

Every smartphone made is at best worth about 50 bucks, because that's what a 10-year-old PC (the nearest speed equivalent) is worth.

"A smartphone's ability to connect to cell networks and wi-fi makes them worth more."

The ability of the smartphone to be used anywhere does not increase its value, especially given their tenure in the market.

"A smartphone's ability to run apps makes it worth more."

That has absolutely nothing to do with its hardware. Remember to solely examine the phone itself and not what it can do. The hardware is not worth what you paid for it.

"A smartphone's ability to do X, Y and Z makes it worth more."

Again, pay attention to the hardware. Software-enabled features on an underpowered toy does not magically change the fact it's still an underpowered toy.

"Newer technologies in smartphones results in a higher-priced phone when introduced to market."

Correct - and you're overpaying for it every time you buy one.

For example, X company releases an update to the phone OS which requires beefier hardware to run it. What happens at that point is a new phone is released with slightly faster hardware to accommodate the OS that needs the beef. End result? A wash. Now it's a more powerful phone with newer OS that negates the upgraded hardware. No notable increase in speed. Same crappy slowness as ever.

Smartphone plans cost way too much

Mobile networks were simply never designed to handle the data demands that a smartphone requires. The answer to this by the wireless networks is to price the plans really, really high to keep the mainstream of mobile users from choking the network to a pulp, while at the same time making a nice tidy profit.

Does this mean mobile network providers are purposely gouging the price of smartphone plans because they're completely unwilling to upgrade the network and keep the cash rolling in?

Yes.

Smartphone users truly have no idea how bad they're getting screwed in this respect. What's more is that they're completely willing to accept poor network service just because their little mini-computers can do things badly that normal computers can effortlessly.

No smartphone does any one thing well

Standard compliment on smartphones: "It does everything! I love it!"

The reality: It does do everything - badly.

Every single thing a smartphone does is either qualified as average or bottom-of-the-barrel functionality. No feature on any smartphone qualifies as "best possible device to do X," for whatever X is.

Here's a few examples of what I'm talking about:

Speaker quality

• Home cordless phone: Good.
• Cell phone: Fair.
• Smartphone: Poor.

Speakerphone quality

• Home cordless phone: Good.
• Cell phone: Barely fair (best described as adequate.)
• Smartphone: Horrible. Speaker barely belts out a squeak even at highest volume. Absolutely cannot be heard in any environment where there's ambient noise.

GPS

• Garmin or TomTom PND: Real-Time top-quality GPS reception and routing.
• Smartphone: Poor reception, spotty receiver connectivity, awful routing - if it's even offered.

Photo shooting

• Cheapest digital camera you can find: Above average photos.
• Smartphone: Worse than cheapest digital camera you can find no matter how many MPs it has.

I could go on but you get the idea. The point is that there is no one thing a smartphone does great. It does everything it does on par or below par.

You have a smartphone that does everything. So what? Everything it does something else can do better - and to boot you're paying for the inferior functionality AND an overpriced call plan at the same time.

Will anything save us?

Yes, and hopefully will be here in 2011 or 2012.

MetroPCS offers unlimited-everything smartphone plans with no contract on a month-to-month basis. Awesome. The problem is that the smartphones they offer are priced too high and aren't the ones people want.

A MetroPCS monthly plan with a good touchscreen $50 smartphone is a complete winner. When the price gets to that level (which it might, given time,) then I'll seriously consider it.

Until then, screw the smartphone.