I saw you throw that paper..

Today I was warned yet again not to throw paper balls at co-workers. Personally speaking, I think I've been pretty good about the whole thing. I've been laying low, trying not to acquire too much attention to myself, you know.. office sneaky-stuff activities.

One thing is for sure, life around the office would be A-1 boring-ass dull if I didn't so something to liven things up around there in the sea of beige cubicles.

I will now write the rest of this entry in my best Heather. B Armstrong impersonation. Granted, I don't write about things as interesting as a corn dog stick coming out of a dog's ass (because after all, that's just 100% Pulitzer winning material right there), but here goes...

Ahem..

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I bean someone with a paper ball.

The supervisor walks over.

"I saw you throw that paper. You know we've already had that discussion."

Yes, Mr. Stuporvisor, we have. My life is decidated to messing with YOUR HEAD. I have clandestine thoughts all the time of making your life a swirling torrent of PAIN AND SUFFERING. After all, it's not as if performing a job such as a help desk analyst isn't like being Satan's little helper now, is it? My life is just one whole big bowl of cherries knowing that I have sit in a cubicle all day long wearing a headset, waiting for that BOOOOOOOOOOOP, taking calls and answering the call of the slavemaster. Yes, Mr. Stuporvisor, I LOVE MY LIFE and it pleases me to no end that you INSIST on taking anything away from me that takes away STRESS - KEEP DOING YOUR JOB.

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Ah, to be dry and sarcastic with a touch of the ridiculous. Heh. 😉

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Painting finished

Forgot to mention: The painting of the interior of the house is finished. It took a while, but it was done right and it looks great. The only things left to do now are to clean out the rest of the house (mostly boxes and so on), clean the siding on the outside of the house, get the carpets cleaned and.. that's it more or less.

After all this is done, an attempt will be made to sell the house again. The last attempt didn't work out but this time I think it will work. I'm crossing fingers.. 😉

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Internet legends

Okay.. diversion time. 😉

Sometimes I like to scour the 'net and look at "internet legend" web sites because I think they're cool.

I Kiss You!
Anyone who's surfed the 'net long enough has heard of Mahir. I remember back when this page used to be on Geocities (before it was Yahoo's). Funny stuff. What's even funnier is that there have been Mahir conventions, Mahir on television, Mahir in television commercials, all because of his "I kiss you!" web page.

Mr. T Ate My Balls
Another 'net legend web page. Very, very old. I remember when this site used to be on a college's web server. For some reason, the "Ate my Balls" thing turned into a whole bunch of Net Legend pages. But the Mr. T one was the first.

Chronicles of George
A web site dedicated to what may be the worst help desk analyst ever to exist, maybe. There was one where I work which could have possibly been worse if you can believe it. See, at a help desk there is always at least ONE guy that is so bad you can't even believe he's employed. This is one of them. Read this enough and "havening" will become a household word. As everyone who knows me knows: I am nothing but ruthless on people who can't spell.

Bernard Shifman is a Moron Spammer
This is kind of a boring read at the beginning, but as you get into it, it just gets better and better. This is some of the best reading, ever. It's especially funny when the lawyers get involved - which didn't take too long.

"Do not call" list for cell phone users
Now some would say "Well isn't the National Do Not Call Registry legitimate?" Yes, it's legitimate, BUT.. see section 29, 31 and 32 - it is NOT a cure-all for avoiding telemarketers. The best way to avoid telemarketing is to a) Get a new phone number, b) Have it unlisted in the phone book and c) Never give your phone number to a company - ever.

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