Guitar modeling amps DO deliver what they promise

If you don't like the sound of your stock presets on your modeling amp or multi-effects pedal, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

If you ever listened to the guitar tone for Limelight by Rush, Alex Lifeson's guitar tone on that song is one of the best ever recorded because he does not use an over-trebly ratty sounding overdrive.

There are some modeling amps and multi-effects pedals that feature that exact sound as a preset. All you basically need is a guitar with bridge humbucker pickup, play the song, and you've got the tone...

...but the internet would tell you otherwise.

A longstanding complaint of all guitar modeling, be it in an amp or pedal, is that all factory presets regardless of who made the amp or pedal sound awful.

No, it doesn't sound awful.

The guys who program these things during development actually do listen to the original studio recordings, approximate what the tone sounds like, program it as a preset, test it many times until it's right, then send it out to production. The vast majority of the time, these programmers actually do nail it and get the sound right the first time.

The problem is the player and not the software.

Rewinding the clock back to the '90s for a moment, I'll talk about a multi-effects I unit I owned before for many years, the Alesis Quadraverb GT. That thing did just about everything well except overdrive/distortion. This was '90s early digital modeling tech, and it didn't sound right because of how new digital dist/od was at the time. The tech needed to get out there and mature.

Well, it has matured. In fact, it matured properly right around 2010. Virtual amps via PC software got the sound right first, then as the tech became cheaper and easier to produce, it trickled down into rack units, then to multi-effect pedals, then to amps.

And here we are. Now we have it all. And dopey guitar players (mostly metalheads) still complain.

Reminder: Most original studio guitar tracks of famous rock songs sound awful on their own

Flying High Again by Ozzy Osbourne is a good example of this. There are guitars in that song. Yes, guitarS. Plural. Very plural. Randy Rhoads had his guitars double, triple and sometimes even quadruple layered just to get them not sounding like total garbage - yet still do if you listened to them isolated. This tone is buzzy, ratty, muffled, overblown, has too much reverb, and is just plain terrible.

And when programmers actually program a sound like this as a preset in a modeling unit, they know it sounds awful but put it in anyway. After all, everyone wants that Randy Rhoads tone, right?

No. Nobody wants it. Nobody wants a trebly, nasty overblown mess of a guitar sound.

You got what you asked for

To anyone who complains about the stock presets in a modeling unit not sounding right, you got what you asked for. The tone is there. You just never liked the actual original studio sound to begin with...

...and that's why you're better off just programming your own presets with modelers. Tedious to do? Not really. You just have to sit down, learn how your modeler does what it does and create your own custom presets.

For multi-effects, it doesn't matter whether you have a DigiTech RP55, ZOOM G3Xn or BOSS GT-1000. For modeling amps, it doesn't matter whether you have a Peavey Vypyr VIP 1, Line 6 Spider V 240 or Fender Mustang GT 200. The fact of the matter is that with ANY of these things, you will have to sit down, learn the thing and actually do some basic programming.

And yeah, I know the word programming scares some people. Don't be afraid of it. Tone modeling is just one of those things where you have to craft your own tone and that's just the way it is.

However, on a final note, being I just recently acquired a Line 6 Spider V 60, I might write up a better manual on that. Maybe. I'm thinking about it. I personally think the amp is very easy to use, but again, the whole programming thing does scare some. If I decide to put a book together on how to use the amp, yes I will of course announce it here.

Thinning the herd (getting rid of guitar gear)

Over the past weekend I let go of a few things, and picked up 1 thing.

The 1 thing I picked up was a Line 6 Spider V 60 amplifier. The cost was nothing because I traded out two guitars and my old amp for it. I'll be doing a review on the amp later.

I've said before that gear hoarding is just plain dumb and that if there's stuff you're not using, get rid of it. I do practice what I preach, and that's exactly what I did.

For the rest of this, I'm going to concentrate mostly on the amp replacement.

The old amp was a Fender Frontman 212R. I bought that 48lb (22kg) monster years ago because my thought was that I "needed" something just as a loud as a half-stack setup. And oh yeah, it was loud. Too loud. There was absolutely no way to play it quietly inside my apartment. Not possible.

On top of that, because the Tampa Florida band scene sucks so bad, I never got to use it. Actually, correction. I got to use it once with a band at a practice - where I was promptly told to turn it down because it was too damned loud. Yes, this really happened. That Frontman outgunned a full stack tube-type Marshall with ease. So if you ever want an amp that projects, well, get yourself a 212R as it's definitely one of the loudest combo amps Fender has ever made. It might be solid-state but wow does it belt out the volume.

My 212R did nothing but sit and collect dust for years. The time came when I examined the guitar gear I had, thought about that big amp and said to myself yep, it's gotta go. But I still needed some amplification, and that's where the Line 6 Spider V 60 came in. It is much lighter at just 20lbs (9kg) and can be played quietly or loud. Is the amp as loud as the old 212R was? No, of course not. Not even close. However, it's more than good enough for playing at home or for small gigs when the time comes that I do those again.

Realizations

1. Guitar bulk sucks

I parted with a Jazzmaster (I now only have 1), an electric bass and an amp.

For those keeping score, yes this means there was one point where I had 3 Jazzmasters in my possession. That was stupid. It was even more stupid that all 3 of them were more or less the same guitar. At least with my 2 Telecasters, both are distinctively different as one is a traditional solid-body, neck with rosewood fingerboard and single-coil pickup configuration, the other a semi-hollow Thinline, one-piece maple neck, and dual humbucker configuration.

I'm happy to be rid of the bulk and don't regret what I traded out at all.

2. Digital is more usable

Nothing about the 212R amp was digital. It was 100% analog and it even had a real reverb tank in it.

The Spider V 60 is 100% digital and I've taken to it very quickly. I love the modeling options, the little drum machine it has in it (which actually sounds pretty darned good,) the fact it can be used 100% pedal-less because of all the built-in effects it has, the fact it's easy to use... it's just oh-so nice.

I also like that the audio over USB is super clean. Some amps don't do USB right, but the Spider V definitely does.

3. Sometimes going modern is just better

Where this amp replacement was concerned, getting rid of the bulky old-style analog rig for the light-and-lean modern digital rig was definitely the correct choice.

What if I had gone with a modern small tube-type amp?

I don't do tubes, as most people know. Tubes and I just don't get along.

However, for $100 more than the price of the Spider V 60, I could have bought a Fender Super Champ X2. Don't be fooled by the fact it only has 15 watts. That amp is a true tube-type and quite loud for what it is. And like the Spider V it has USB for digital recording. For weight, it's 24lbs (11kg,) which is 4lbs heaver than the Line 6, and that isn't too bad at all.

I don't deny that the Super Champ for many players ticks all the right boxes, and for a tube-type Fender, it's priced well...

...but again, I don't do tubes. For the sound I go after, solid-state has always worked better for me. And it's more affordable, which I appreciate.

Happy to have less

I'm feeling very good about my new smaller rig. I'm glad to have dropped some bulk while at the same time get something that works better for me.

Novelty guitars are junk, but fun

If you're going to get one of these, the joke only works pretty much once.

An example of a novelty guitar made to look like a weapon is the Glen Burton GE47, made to look like a machine gun. Obviously, the guitar cannot be played sitting down. Not comfortably, anyway. This is the kind of guitar you buy for local gigs when you just need something to give the audience a laugh.

The joke of what this guitar is stops being funny after about 5 minutes. This basically means you break it out for one song at a gig where the guitar would be appropriate, such as Tommy Gun by The Clash. And then immediately put it away afterward and go back to a regular electric guitar.

What's the ultra-cheap way of making a novelty guitar?

Stickers.

Grab any guitar you want where you don't mind completely covering the body in stickers, and buy this 300 piece sticker pack. You'll easily be able to cover the entire guitar. Several, actually.

Or if you're the artsy fartsy type, you can take a cheap Squier Mustang HH, take off the pick guard, sticker that up, and then reinstall the guard when done to give it a nice custom look.

Go novelty or go sticker?

I personally think the sticker route is the better option mainly because it can be applied to any guitar. And it goes without saying that guitars like cheap Strats, cheap Mustangs or whatever you go with are much more playable compared to the GE47 above.

I'm not saying not to buy the GE47. If you like the novelty of that, get one. But for a custom look that's dirt cheap and unique, stickers are way better - and really easy.

On switching over to the Telecaster

My guitar playing journey has led me to the Telecaster, and it's been an interesting trip.

Although I still own two Jazzmasters, they pretty much never get played because I've really taken to the Telecaster, of which I also own two. One solid-body with single-coil pickups and one semi-hollow Thinline with a pair of humbuckers.

Take the 2018 Limited Edition Tele Thinline Super Deluxe. Not cheap, as it is an American model special edition. But I'm mentioning it because it exemplifies that you have a lot of options when it comes to getting the right Telecaster for you.

It started with Strats

For years I played nothing but Stratocaster guitars, both Squier and Fender. I've owned a bunch of them. That was my go-to axe. I kept playing Strats because it never occurred to me to try something else, except that one time I owned a Schecter C-1 Classic. But that was also a double cutaway Strat-like shape, so I didn't stray too far from the nest.

Then came the Jazzmasters

The Jazzmaster was my first real guitar departure from what I normally played. That guitar is pretty much as opposite as you can get from a Strat. Lots of controls, top-loading strings, "slow" vibrato system, really trebly pickups, and so on.

There was a point where I honestly thought I was a Jazzmaster guy for life. I dove real deep into the guitar and the music genre it's best known for, surf rock. I played my first Jazzmaster so much that I literally wore it out.

Now this is the first time I'm actually mentioning this publicly, but I did at one point own a Fender Jazzmaster. It was the '60s Lacquer model. The current model has a pau ferro fingerboard but mine had the rosewood because it was made before all that crap that happened where the government put new rules in effect about that particular wood species, where it could be shipped and whatnot.

When I say I dove deep into Jazzmasters, it doesn't get much deeper than that. The only thing that doesn't make that guitar exactly like the late '50s original is that it doesn't have a lock button on the vibrato system. Other than that, it's exactly how Fender made it decades ago. Nitro finish body and neck, vintage size skinny frets and the whole kit and caboodle, hard case and all. I even bought it direct from Fender...

...and I traded it out after owning it for something like a year.

I grew to hate that Jazzmaster for several reasons, but the two biggies were that nitro finish irritates my fret hand after about 30 minutes of play, and the heel-adjusted truss rod placement drove me nuts.

Was that Jazzmaster a bad guitar? No. Great guitar. But from owning it I realized that I hate new-vintage Fender builds. I will always prefer gloss or semi-gloss urethane on a neck over nitro. And I will never own a guitar ever again with a neck that requires it to be removed just to adjust the truss rod.

Yes, this means I will never buy a Fender American Original Series (the replacement for American Vintage Series) guitar. So as much as I would want a Fender AO '60s Telecaster in Fiesta Red, I can't get it because of the nitro and heel-adjusted truss rod placement.

Then came the Telecasters

Before the Jazzmaster I did in fact own a Squier Thinline Telecaster in Shoreline Gold, but it had overly buzzy electronics so I had to return it. A few years later I briefly owned a red Squier Affinity Telecaster, but I couldn't stand the fact the pick guard has to be removed just to adjust the neck pickup height, so I returned it.

But then in August 2017, Guitar Center had this Bullet Telecaster that was "correct." Cup output jack, height adjustment screws direct in the pick guard for the neck pickup, string-thru body, great neck. Yep, that was the one. Bought it, still have it.

In January 2018, I picked up another Thinline. This time the Vintage Modified '72 with the humbuckers. I wanted a Tele with all-maple neck. Bought it, still have it, and it happens to be the guitar I play the most.

What I've learned from using a Telecaster as my main guitar

The guitar I play really does dictate what I play

I did not play surf rock before the Jazzmaster. At all. But after getting my hands on one, it was something I just felt compelled to play, and did.

Similarly, I did not play country before I found a Telecaster I liked.

Certain guitars inspire me to play certain styles. Sure, I can (and have) play surf rock on a Telecaster. But it's the country stuff where it really shines.

I'm glad to have learned country because it has advanced my playing skills in many ways.

Simpler is better

Telecaster is the simplest electric I've ever played, and I wouldn't want to go any simpler. The 2-pickup, 2-knob hardtail really works well.

I really appreciate a guitar you don't have to fuss with. Just plug in and go.

Lighter is better

A reason I play my Thinline Tele as much as I do is because of how light in weight it is. It's not that my other guitars are overly heavy. I just like that my leg never gets sore from resting the guitar on it when playing seated, and my shoulder never complains from playing the guitar standing.

With my other guitars, yeah I can feel the weight. That doesn't make them unplayable, but after about an hour I have to put the guitar down. With the Thinline I can go for several hours without a problem.

Fun!

I think the main reason the Jazzmaster isn't my favorite anymore is because I took the guitar as far as I could go with it. I learned all the surf there was to know, and after that there was nowhere to go.

With country styles, one could spend a lifetime learning and you'd still not learn it all. There's always something new just around the corner. Telecaster made the guitar interesting for me again.

I'm not saying I'm a Tele guy just yet... but I'm pretty close.

Smashing a guitar is a really stupid idea

This is never, repeat, never a good idea. You have alternatives.

Ever since I started playing guitar I've always run into that guy who "wants a guitar just to smash" at some local show because he thinks it will be cool.

Nope. Not cool. Never was and never will be. You can't smash a guitar at a gig for two reasons. First, the owner of the place will want to have a nice little chat with you about how you're going to pay for his damaged floor. Second, the owner will want to have a chat with you about fixing the ceiling too, because you forgot how high a guitar goes in the air when raised above your head.

But let's just say you were at a place where the ceiling was high and you could damage the floor and not care. This is what could potentially happen:

• Strings upon breaking will snap back right in your face. You've heard the joke "Don't do that, you can poke an eye out." Well, guess what? Not a joke here. A steel wire flung toward your face really can do that.
• Piece of wood can break off, tear right through your shirt or jeans and lacerate you.
• Piece of wood can break off, go flying and injure anyone near you.
• Your shoulder and/or back will get thrown out. Even if you're 18 and in the best shape of your life, doesn't matter. Once you swing that guitar over your head, you suddenly realize that uh-oh, gravity exists. And it's pulling your arms and twisting your back the wrong way. Bet you didn't think 8 pounds could mess you up that bad, right? Well, it can.

There's more bad stuff that can happen, but you get the idea.

Since some of you would ask, this is how to set up a electric prop guitar to break:

1. Must have a bolt-on neck so you can purposely have the neck slightly loose for a cleaner break on impact.
2. Two strings installed only. Low E and A. That's it.
3. Two tuners installed only, E and A.
4. One pickup installed.
5. No potentiometers installed at all, meaning no volume or tone controls. Wire the guitar's pickup to be direct-to-output.
6. Hardtail only. No vibrato/tremolo system because those springs will go flying, which would be bad.
7. Back of the guitar has finish shaved off so you can see where the body pieces connect.
8. Cut break points halfway deep into the body at the back of the guitar where the body connect areas are.

If all goes well, that prop guitar will make for a clean smash on the first hit.

What happens if you don't prep a guitar as a prop to smash? Any one of the bad things I mentioned above.

But there's one other bad thing that can happen:

It won't break.

Attempting to smash a guitar only to have it not come apart no matter how hard you drive it into the floor is really embarrassing. Oh sure, you'll drive it to the ground maybe 4 or 5 times before you get too tired to do it again. Everyone is looking at you waiting for that big finish, but it's just not happening.

If you want that guitar to break the right way the first time, you must prep it to do so, else you roll the dice and lose.

Safer alternative to guitar smashing

The easiest of the easy to get people's attention without smashing a guitar is to simply make stuff light up. You can do this without any modifications whatsoever.

Here are a few stupidly easy ways to light up the guitar and/or yourself.

A 6-pack of light-up bracelets. They can stay on with a solid light, slow flash or fast flash. Wrap some of these around your wrist and/or the headstock of the guitar and/or your guitar strap and it will get attention. Cheap, easy and effective.

A flexible light strip. It's really cheap and you can do a lot with it. Outline the body of your guitar, outline your amplifier cabinet, line the inside of a bass drum, wrap it around a microphone stand, etc. Like I said, you can do a lot with this cheap and very bright light strip.

The really nice part is that it barely generates any heat and is safe to the touch when in use. It can also be cut to length too! There are points along the strip where every 3 lights has a cutting mark (you can see it in the image above) that allows for safe shortening of the strip without having to solder/resolder.

Another nice part: It's self-adhesive. As in the peel-and-stick kind. Doesn't get any easier.

The only downside is that is does require a power adapter as it can't run on batteries. But even so, the adapter is cheap and worth it.

A 7-pack of LED lanyards is similar to the bracelets. Then can illuminate solid, slow flash or fast flash.

For some of you, these may be easier to deal with. Easy to put around the neck, on the headstock of any guitar or guitar strap, and so on.

What's the best part about lighting stuff up over smashing?

Easy answer: Reusable.

Once a guitar is smashed, it's not like you can put it back together again. Or even if you could, the guitar will never play correctly.

Light-up stuff however can be used again and again and again. It's cheap, easy to use, easy to install.. it's really a no-brainer.

Do dopey lights work to get attention? Yes. They always have, and always will.