lol kills my inner child

I hate LOL. I hate everything about it. It's a stupid "word" used by stupid people. If you use LOL, you're an idiot.

Believe it or not LOL didn't always bother me, but I can tell you when it did. When people started using it as a word, that's when I knew it had gone too far. People started typing it out as if it were being pronounced like lawl. This is literally a made-up word made from another made-up word. How ass-backwards can you get?

Fact about LOL users: Every single person I've ever met in real life that has used LOL in internet chat prior cannot communicate properly. They stumble over their own words and can't form coherent sentences. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not.

You know how I said you were an idiot if you use LOL? I really do mean that. It's a sign of stupidity. You are literally saying "I'm stupid" whenever you type LOL.

How far we've gone down the LOL crap train, part 1

LOL has gotten so bad that some think by "stretching" the made-up word of a made-up word it makes it state "I'm laughing more".

Confused?

I'll explain.

If a moron wants to say he's really laughing (more than usual) he won't type LOL but rather LOOOOOOOLLLLL or LOLOL.

At that point you have a made-up word (LOLOL or any lengthened variation thereof) of a made-up word (the pronounced LOL) of a made-up word (LOL). Three time's a charm!

Can you see now how absolutely stupid this is?

In order to actually understand LOLOL, you have to know the word came from two previous variations and that these are words that literally do not exist in the English language.

How far we've gone down the LOL crap train, part 2

Intelligent users hate LOL so much that they actually make fun of the idiots who use it by speaking in what's called "a dramatic reading".

It is genius.

Example

Stupid LOL user: did u see tha nu movee lst nyt?

Dramatic Reader: Why yes, sir, I most certainly did! Jolly good show it was! Say, dear chum, would you terribly mind not speaking in such poor unintelligible English?

Stupid LOL user: lol

Dramatic Reader: Sir, if your intelligence would allow, please refrain from that ghastly language. It makes you appear to be an imbecile of biblical proportions!

Stupid LOL user: [user has logged out]

---

The LOL user literally has no idea what you're saying, gets confused and usually logs out and/or blocks you.

Good riddance.

How far we've gone down the LOL crap train, part 3

LOL has gotten so bad that it has literally lost all its original meaning. Using it makes you look very stupid.

Proof of this is in Urban Dictionary's definition:

...it is overused to the point where nobody laughs out loud when they say it. In fact, they probably don't even give a crap about what you just wrote. More accurately, the acronym "lol" should be redefined as "Lack of laughter."

If I ever type LOL to you, I'm calling you an idiot - on purpose

As a testament to how bad LOL is, I've literally dropped that "word" on people even though they know I don't use it - and they actually believe I'm laughing.

Yeah, maybe I am - at them.

Published 2008 Feb 15