the handy dandy craigslist personals translator
Being that craigslist personals is populated by whores, sluts and gold diggers, here's my handy dandy translation guide. If you see any of the words or phrases below in a girl's personal ad, here's what they truly mean.
BBW: Bring Burgers With.
Looking for Mr. Right: Money makes me horny.
Bored: I ran out of beer money.
Looking for mature..: I have the mentality of a five-year-old.
Old fashioned: No sex. Ever.
Simple: I take only one shower a week.
Country girl: My cooch stinks.
Professional: You do as I tell you, and I will lead you around by your dick. Also, no sex, and pay my bills.
Real: I'm fake.
Anyone out there: ..that I can sucker into believing I'm not a pathological liar?
Party girl: I'm addicted to crack. And meth. And paint thinner.
Happy Valentine's Day. 🙂
More articles to check out
- Ibanez does a "Negative Antigua" finish
- The guitar some buy in threes because they can: Grote GT-150
- You're not allowed to change a brake light in a new car?
- Unexpected surprise, Casio F201
- Why the Epiphone Explorer is better than the Gibson (for now)
- You should surround yourself in guitar luxury
- Forgotten Gibson: 1983 Map Guitar
- Casio MTP-V003, the one everyone missed
- Just for the look: Peavey Solo guitar amp
- Spacehunter, that '80s movie when 3D was a thing