Thank you, underpaid clothes makers
My coat's zipper broke so I had to get a new one. I returned to the same high-brow place I bought it originally and they no longer make that style. As a matter of fact they don't make anything even remotely close to it. I left empty-handed. Bleah.
Decided to hit Wal-Mart after that and see what they had. Nothing too great there. After walking 'round for a bit I noticed some fleece half-zip pullovers for... wait for it... seven dollars each.
I bought five. Two black, one green, one blue, one red. Total cost: under forty bucks after taxes.