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10 universal rock band truths

I'd hazard to say there are millions of rock bands around the world. And no matter what age you are or where you are, if you happen to be in one the same b.s. happens over and over again.

With that said, here are 10 universal rock band truths. Some - if not all - of these apply to you if you're in a rock band right now.

  1. You have at least one band member that completely sucks but is required to be there because he's the one who lets you use his house to practice in.
  2. The drunks and stoners at your shows do not count as fans.
  3. Over 30? Then you're an old guy playing rock and you'll always be seen as the old guy playing rock. Just accept it.
  4. MySpace has never made a band famous. Ever. This is because all your "friends" are other crappy bands just like the one you're in.
  5. Nobody is interested in buying your crappy "merch".
  6. Selling CDs? Who buys CDs anymore?
  7. The fact you hang out at Guitar Center with your band mates just goes to prove how much you suck at life.
  8. The only girls who hang out at shows are girlfriends/wives of the band members.
  9. The fact you got on that radio show for local bands that plays @ two in the morning means... absolutely nothing.
  10. Each band member should be renamed as follows: "Starting At My Shoes" (guitar and bass player), "Staring At The Ceiling" (singer), "This Was A Bad Idea To Bring My Drums Here" (drummer).
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