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i survived iPad 2 keynote day

I read tech blogs a lot so of course I heard about Apple's iPad 2 launch. Did I watch Lord Jobs give his keynote? Of course not, because the guy is annoying to listen to. One can only take so much of hearing someone say "this is cool" before you want to toss your monitor out the nearest window.

The bloggo that's getting all the attention is this one, stating in so many words that the bulk of the keynote was 100% nonsense. Well, there's a reason for the nonsense, because fudged figures or not, tablets at this point are boring. They're dangerously close to reaching the limits of what they can do. Anyone with a brain realizes this.

There's nothing new, cool or exciting about tablets anymore. They all still have the same carpal tunnel-inducing non-tactile typing crapola that everyone hates. They all have smudge-tastic screens which are unavoidable. They all suck big fat sweaty donkey nuts compared to a laptop, or heck, even a first-generation netbook does a better job than a tablet can at, well, everything.

I used an iPad before for a few hours, and seriously, the novelty of it wears off real quick. At first you're like, "Oh, cool - a whole computer in a slab. Neato." Then after a short while you say, "Geez.. I can do things much faster on a laptop with an actual keyboard and trackpad." After that you say, "Whew! Glad I didn't buy one of these things", unless you actually did buy one. If you did, well, sucks to be you.

Tablets will continue to permeate themselves into the market, but the bitter truth is that they're all crappy slow-ass computers. Since when is a CPU clocked at molasses-speed 1GHz and only having 64GB of data storage considered good? Oh, well in tablet-land, that's just super-duper-pooper awesome, right? Wrong. It sucks.

I sincerely look forward to the day when tablet fever dies out - and believe me, that will happen quickly because tablets are way, way, WAY overhyped to the point of being old the moment they hit store shelves. Yes, it's that bad.

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